The Babysitter

Scanning photos from my parent's albums has triggered a number of memories. Most recently I saw a photo of myself and some of my sisters and their friends, and I was reminded of my babysitting career. Yes, at one time people trusted me to take care of their children while they went out to have a good time. These were the years between when I was fourteen and sixteen years old. I charged one dollar per hour to sit at your house and make sure the kids went to bed and stayed there. It often worked out that way. Here are few of the families I worked for.

Family A was Irish Catholic so they had a bunch of kids including a pair of twin boys around seven years old. I only babysat there once. The parents left for their night out with only a few simple requests. One, that I order the children a pizza for dinner. Two, that I make sure they go to bed at nine. They did not go to bed at nine. They continued to run around like crazed monkeys and refused to go to bed. As for the pizza, I ordered it with the money that had been left along with a note. I didn't read the note. It said to order a cheese pizza, but I ordered what I wanted. Sausage pizza. When the pizza came and the children realized there was sausage on the pizza, a riot broke out. As I was trying to pick the sausage off to make it a cheese pizza, one of the twin boys punched me in the balls.

Family B. This family lived in a nice split level house on the other side of town. I was pleasantly surprised to find that when I arrived, the children had already been put to bed, where they stayed. So I had the whole evening to 'investigate' the place. Yes, I used to get up in the people's business when I babysat. At this house I found the dad's porn collection. Problem was, it was straight porn and I had very little interest. However, he had a lot of Playboy magazines and I loved the articles. Especially the Playboy Forum, letters from readers about their sex problems.

Family C. Lived right across the street from us. Here the kids listened to me because they knew me, and went to bed. What I loved about this place were their Redd Foxx records. They had at least five of them, and they were filled with filthy jokes and stories. Quite an education for a young boy.

Family D. They lived next door. They had plenty of liquor in the house, and they stayed out until the bars closed at five in the morning. Enough said? All that and a dollar per hour.