He Really Is A Son Of A Bitch

My job, when Mark is cooking out on the grill, is to start the fire. It is the one thing I am really good at. ( Check out me and fire here http://tinleytime.blogspot.com/2008/05/fire.html ) Once the grill is going, I get to just sit back and watch television while Mark makes magic in the kitchen. For the last forty five minutes the aroma of grilled meat, and savory spices has filled the house. Every few minutes I hear the door open and shut as Mark shuttles back and forth between the grill outside and the side dishes cooking in the kitchen. Tonight we are having fajitas with black beans and rice, and the smells coming from the kitchen have the promise of another great meal by Mark. There is one final door closing, followed by what sounds like an angry screech-owl, and a dog running from the kitchen for his life. "It's gone, It's all gone, you crazy son-of-a-bitch!! He ate it all, that crazy dog ate it all!!!", squealed Mark at the top of his lungs. I sneak a peek around the corner, and see one small morsel of steak sitting on the counter where a whole flank steak should be. I am amazed that Chandler missed even that little bit.

It seems that Chandler has discovered that he can now reach the top of the kitchen counter, and that spells trouble for all of us. This has happened before with my previous dog, Molly. She only did it once, and after unleashing the wrath of Mark, she never even considered doing it another time. In addition to Mark's ear splitting screeches that only a dog can totally hear, I realize that I must imprint upon Chandler the gravity of eating daddy's dinner or there will be many more evenings of scouring the refrigerator for leftovers. After a good bawling out, Chandler gets to watch me eat what is left of my dinner through the bars of his prison/crate. "Mmmm, yummy black beans and rice.", I taunt him. "Oooh, such a tasty tortilla with beans.", as I pretend to be enjoying my dinner. But, I don't think it's working. Chandler is laying in his crate, calm as could be, with an entire flank steak digesting in his belly. It makes you wonder, who's training who?