Death by Clutter

Despite my specific request, no my order, that Mark not block the pool pump area with his back yard clutter, Mark decided to stack bags of top soil for his garden directly in front of the pump and filter. I put up with it as just another example of Mark not listening to me, until while cleaning the filter, I tripped over the bags and barely missed falling into the pool.

Interestingly, earlier in the day I had seen Sunday Morning on CBS, and a story about the Collyer brothers, Homer and Langley. It seems that these two guys lived with mommy and daddy until mom and dad died in the 1920's. After mommy died, there was nobody around to clean up after Homer and Langley, so the house started filling up with clutter, garbage, and all sorts of crap. As the neighborhood started to grow more dangerous, the Collyer brothers became recluses in the house, and to deter burglars, and intruders, they built booby traps out of the mountains of clutter around them. Unfortunately one day Langley triggered one of his own booby traps, killing him and leaving his invalid brother to starve to death.

So it was on Sunday afternoon, that I came storming into the house, my left arm all wet and my ire raised by my trip over Marks backyard clutter. With the story of the Collyer brothers still fresh in my mind, I roared at Mark, "I swear to god, I'm going to put it in my will! If I die as a result in any way of your goddamn clutter, you don't get a dime!" I don't think that it will really stop Mark from collecting all the crap and clutter that fills our home, but at least the rest of the world will know that when I'm found dead under a one ton pile of cook books and useless kitchen gadgets, that he gets nothing.

This is not a closet, nor a pantry. It is the hallway to the bathroom.