It's after two o'clock in the morning and something has awakened me. It's a little over two feet tall, weighs around ninety pounds, and has a very wet and cold nose. Chandler has found out that he can make me get out of bed, and let him out the back door in the middle of the night, if he stands next to the bed and makes noises. Yesterday it was four in the morning when I got the wet nose on my face along with the plaintive whine to go out. I dutifully pulled the covers down, even though it was nearly sixty degrees outside, and braved the wintry cold to let Chandler out the back door (Yes, sixty is considered wintry in Florida). As I stood shivering on the back porch, urging Chandler to go poopies, he scooted back and forth chasing mysterious critters in the dark. He never did go potty. It was just a clever ruse on his part to go critter hunting. So I was ready for him last night when he came calling.
"Go back to bed Chandler, and quit your whining and stop putting your nose on my arm."
"Ewwwp..?"
I tried pulling the covers over my head so he couldn't see me, but still he persisted.
"Oooooooo........ "
Finally in an effort to keep him from waking up Mark, I slipped out of bed, and met Chandler at the back door. When I opened it he shot out the door, squatted, and let loose with a river of very loose dog poop. So while I really want to stop him from waking me up in the middle of the night so he can chase critters outside, I have to realize that sometimes Chandler really has to go. Either that, or he's perfected the art of conjuring up diarrhea just so that he can prove a point.
Hopefully someone will do the the same for you someday.
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