Siri-ously

I don't own one, but I recognize that the iphone is an amazing tool of the twenty first century. You can use it to track buses so you don't have to wait on the corner like some common public transportation user. It allows people to cheat on trivia night at the local bar. I myself have seen it in action here at our house while watching television. All I have to do is mention something about an actor or show that I'm watching and Mark asks Siri to look it up. He also uses Siri to spend hours 'texting' his friends. Nothing like trying to watch a television show while Mark gabs with an overly friendly electronic voice. While we were in Chicago last week, we took a bus downtown. I sat there quietly while Mark pecked away on his iphone. Glancing around at all the people on the bus I realized that I was the only person without an iphone. I was the only one who wasn't listening to, pecking away at, or staring blankly at an iphone. I felt very lonely. You go to a supermarket and almost everybody has their iphone out. People stroll down the street, stepping blindly into traffic, while staring at their iphone. And if they get hit by a car it will be by somebody gabbing away on their iphone. Don't get me wrong, I have a cell phone. It's a decade old flip phone that takes ten minutes to type out a five word text to somebody, so I don't do much texting. Anyway, I think there is a time and a place for iphones, like in bar bathrooms and airports. Any other place and I think that they cause problems. While in Chicago I decide that I needed to do a little laundry, so I took a few things down to the laundry room of my friend Dennis' building. I set my shopping bag full of dirty clothes down on the table and put some detergent into the washing machine. At the other end of the room was a lady yakking on her iphone while holding a small jug of bleach. When I turned to get my dirty clothes I noticed that the shopping bag had a wet spot on it. It wasn't until I pulled my clothes out of the dryer later that I realized that the shopping bag had turned white where it had been wet, and that three pieces of my clothing had bleached out white spots on them. Apparently Miss Gabby iphone user could not talk without gesturing with her hands. She had splashed bleach all over the laundry room. I showed the bleached out clothes to Mark, and asked him if there was anything I could do to fix them. He assured me that there is probably an app for that.