Sprung Forward

I really hate the time change. I've heard numerous explanations throughout my life as to why they change the time twice a year, but none of them make any sense. If the sun is coming up earlier and earlier every day, then you get up earlier and take advantage of it. If it is getting darker each morning, then stay the hell in bed, or better yet, turn on a goddamned lamp. It would be so much easier than screwing up the entire population just because a few people cannot cope. And speaking of coping, how the hell does a one hour change of the time end up messing with my entire day. I can't seem to figure out the dog's schedule. They know when it's time to go out, but I find myself telling them no, that they are wrong. Then after a few calculations I realize, the dogs are right. The problem is that I want them to still go out at the same time as before, say seven thirty in the morning. The dogs on the other hand, lay in the bed and look at me as if I were crazy. Which I obviously am. And it isn't just me that has a problem with the time change. Yesterday I heard Mark banging around in the kitchen, so I popped my head in there and asked what was up.

"I'm making dinner."

"But it's only four in the afternoon."

"I thought there was a time change. Didn't you turn the clocks back an hour?"

"No, it's spring forward, get it? Spring forward. The clocks were turned ahead an hour."

"So what time is it?"

"Four in the afternoon."

"But I thought you said the time was an hour later."

"Sigh, Go ahead and make dinner."

Of course it didn't stop there. Later in the evening, around nine thirty, Mark came into my office. I was messing around on the computer and listening to some music.

"Aren't you coming to bed?"

"Coming to bed? Mark, it's only nine thirty. I never go to bed before eleven."

"But I thought you said the time was an hour later."

I have no idea why I took the time Saturday night to set all the clocks ahead one hour. Really, I would have been better off simply removing the batteries from all of them and relying on the dogs to tell me the time.