Mark received a catalog in
the mail today that totally pissed him off. It was for old people things.
Compression socks, a turkey neck lifter, deluxe walker with padded seat for
when you get tired of pushing that thing around, skin tag remover, everything
you could ever need in your old age was in that catalog.
"Why did they send me
this thing? It's full of weird stuff that old people use." Mark whined.
"The same reason they
sent you an AARP membership last year. You're old."
So there was a bit of back
and forth about at what point old age sets in, with Mark insisting that he
wasn't there yet. When we were done Mark tossed the catalog towards the
garbage. He missed because he's old and can't throw things very far. Anyway, I
picked it up and started leafing through it. I was surprised to see that there
were actually things I could use in that catalog, especially for my bad feet.
But it was when I got further back in the pages that I was even more surprised, or should
I say shocked. They had two full pages of dildos and vibrators for old people.
These were not the torpedo shaped, smooth vibrators that they advertised in the
back of the Knights of Columbus magazine when I was a kid. These were full on
dildos with veins and other anatomically correct details. So yes, it turned out
that they did have quite a few things in that catalog that I could use.
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| 1960's muscle massager. |
Send me a link to the skin tag remover. My boss said he didn't want his removed by a nail clipper.
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