When Elephants Fly

Willie

I am slowly making headway on the painting of the house. So far I've painted ten doors, and about forty feet of eaves and fascia. My arm is like a noodle tonight and it aches a bit. Knowing that painting this place was going to be a hell of a job, I hired Mark's friend, Willie to help out. I had him do the worst job of all, the painting of the porches. All those beams, nooks, and crannies used up a lot of paint. The fact that our helper is a bit sloppy doesn't help. Besides all the paint drippings on the porch floor, he dumped an entire roller pan of white paint today. By the time he was finished for the day he was covered with paint. I, on the other hand, am very neat when I paint. Really, I did all that painting and got only a couple of drops on myself and the ground. What I do have a problem with is the ladder. Climbing up and down that thing is killing me. It's not just the repetitive motion of stepping up and down the thing that hurts. It's the fact that I can't seem to count the steps as I come down the ladder. At least half the time I misjudge. I think I am all the way down and end up stepping off into space. It's not if I am going to fall and break something, it's when. And of course when that does happen and I am not able to finish the paint job, I'm sure Mark will step right in. Ha, just kidding. Elephants will fly out of my ass before that happens.