The Morning News

I poured myself a bowl of Cheerios yesterday morning, poured some milk in the bowl, and shoved a big spoonful into my mouth. Blech, sour milk. So as I'm dumping my breakfast down the garbage disposal, I can hear Mark in the bedroom yelling at the television. He's got Fox News on again, or it could be Morning Joe on MSNBC. He hates Morning Joe Scarborough too. Anyway, I swallow a couple of Rolaids to counter the sour milk taste in my mouth and go into the bedroom to see what's got Mark's pajamas in a twist. Just as I suspected, it's Fox.

I don't understand why somebody would watch something he hates so much. It would be like me voluntarily watching The Real Housewives of Orange County. When I want to get news that isn't filtered through an ideology, I usually turn to Al Jazeera or the BBC News. I'm sure they have some leanings, but it's just not as noticeable as all the other cable news channels. In fact it's like night and day. Fox is the worst. It's the crack cocaine of news networks. They have flashy graphics to lure in those who are attracted by shiny objects. There are blonde women newscasters who are forbidden to wear slacks, for the guys sitting at home in their underpants. They use language that is designed to elicit a gut reaction from the viewer and then carefully construct the news to back up that reaction. That's why I often turn to Al Jazeera America or BBC America for a much more calm conveyance of what's happening in the world. They can be a bit dry and ordinary, and sometimes they do send me off into a snooze. So if I'm feeling logy and need a bit of that crack news reporting, I will on occasion turn to Fox, the meth amphetamine of news channels. It truly can get your blood moving. Just be careful, it can be addictive if you have a weak mind.