It's Fun to go to the D.M.V.

I've Been putting off getting my Illinois driver's license for months now. My biggest fear was that I would not pass the vision test and I'd wouldn't be able to drive a car for the first time in fifty years. Yesterday Mark and I finally went ahead and became citizens of Illinois. We went to the DMV, getting there early figuring that we would beat the crowd. Right? Nobody gets up that early. As we drove up Elston Avenue, I was shocked to see a line of people stretching from the front door of the DMV, out to the street, and around the corner. Goddamnit, foiled again. So we parked the car and shuffled on out to the end of the line. There must have been fifty different languages being spoken out there. From Polish to that funny clicking language that they speak in Southern Africa, and that was being spoken by Mark. He likes to do that once in awhile to freak people out.

The line

At eight thirty the doors open, and in a very orderly fashion the entire line of people moved into the building. I was impressed. The DMV employees moved everything along like a well oiled machine. Within an hour I was standing, waiting for Mark, with a new driver's license in my hand. Yes, I had trouble with the vision test. The lady told me to read line five. I tried to read line five. I got it half right. "Go ahead, read line five for me." she reiterated. But the letters were fading in and out, getting a bit blurry and blending together. Finally, in exasperation, the lady behind the counter told me to read line four. Oh yeah, that I could do just fine. They were twice the size. As for Mark, it was a different story. I took the written test in under five minutes and got every one of the questions right. Mark was in there for thirty five minutes. Every time I looked into the testing room Mark was flipping the pages, with a scowl on his face. But hell, if it takes thirty five minutes to pass the damn test, fine. He passed and now has his new license. I still can't believe I passed that vision test. I mean, how many other blind assholes like me are out there driving?