Chinese

小气鬼

When Mark lived in Florida he was the lead system operator for the county court house computer system. Despite having the skill to run that big computer system, Mark finds ordering Chinese food online impossible. Last night, just about the time the evening news came on, Mark tried to order from the China Palace. I didn't pay much attention, but from the periphery I could hear whining and bitching.

"Something wrong?"

"I can't figure out how to order on this stupid web site. I put in a two dollar and fifty cent tip but it won't take it.... Oh, wait.... Okay, it took."

So the hot and sour soup, crab Rangoon, and Mongolian beef should arrive in about forty minutes. One hour and fifteen minutes later I called the China Palace direct and asked where the hell was our order. A lady with a very, very heavy accent answered the phone.

"Indecipherable.. indecipherable.. we no have that order... indecipherable... three hours... indecipherable.."

So I hung up and walked over to Mark's computer. The order was still on the screen with that two dollar and fifty cent tip highlighted in red. The order had not gone through. I clicked on the tip box and changed it to three dollars. The red went away, the screen flashed and the word 'confirmed' popped up. Apparently if you do not tip China Palace enough they will not take your business. Again, I figured that in about forty minutes we'd have dinner. One hour and thirty minutes later I called them again. The same lady answered the phone.

"Indecipherable.. indecipherable.. we no have that order... indecipherable... four hours... indecipherable.. You want to order now?"

No I did not want to order again. I was over it and planned on walking over to Wolfy's for some hotdogs. Just as I was berating the woman on the phone about how horrible their service was, the dogs went insane and the doorbell rang. It was our food from China Palace. It was all there, everything we ordered and it was still hot. So I told the lady on the phone that all was fine. She responded...

"So you want to order now?"