I Assume It Will Leave When the Weather Gets Better

I caught it out of the corner of my eye weeks ago. A blur of black along the baseboards in the kitchen, disappearing under the radiator. Either a baby rat or a mouse. So I went out to the hardware store and got me some traps, and every night for a week I would lay a trap next to that radiator. Nothing. Whatever it was had decided that our kitchen was not up to snuff, and must have left for greener pastures. Probably because there was not enough crumbs on the floor to sustain it. I have two dogs who keep that floor spotless. I did put traps in the basement too, but didn't catch anything there either.

On a quiet evening a few weeks ago, I was in my office doing important work on the computer, when I heard what sounded like one of those air-raid sirens going off. So I put my card game on hold and went out into the dining room to investigate. It's hard to describe the sound coming out of Mark's mouth. It was a shrill, loud, long continuous scream. The dogs were frantic, snarling and barking.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked.

"Kitchen.... rat.... kill it... "

"Aw, crap. Really, a rat? How big is it, where'd it go?"

Mark held his fingers about an inch apart.

"That big and it was just wandering around the kitchen floor."

"Okay, it's the mouse. That's why I bought some traps that I've been putting down every night."

"What, you know about that rodent?"

"I saw it about a week ago. I didn't want to worry you."

That's what I do when I realize Mark knowing something is worse than if I shared it with him. I just don't mention it. So in the weeks since the initial sighting of that mouse, my upstairs tenant Dennis, has seen it numerous times. In fact it is very bold upstairs and casually wanders right out into the middle of the living room while Dennis watches television. Mark has also seen it twice more. Screaming like a cat on fire the first time, and actually quietly informing me of its presence the second time. I'd like to believe that the mouse Dennis sees and the mouse Mark has seen, is the same mouse. I however, have not seen it since that black blur running along the baseboards. I've put out the traps and left poison in Dennis' apartment, but I cannot catch the damn thing. I won't put poison out in our apartment because of the dogs, and the potential smell of a dead mouse behind the radiator. At this point the mouse is winning, spending the entire winter under the warmth of our radiators. And that's fine with me, as long as it does not get into my food, or has babies. Geez, please don't have babies.