Chandler is lying out in the yard, refusing to come in. It's ten o'clock and I want to go to bed, but I have to wait until this big mutt decides he wants to come back in the house.
You know that old saying, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." It isn't true. Dogs learn new things their entire lives. Take Chandler for example. He's thirteen and one half years old. He has lumps on his body, his rear legs can barely support him, and he has the worst old dog-man breath you've ever smelled. Yet he has learned something. He learned it from Scout. She taught him that if you nag at me long enough, I'll give in and do something for you. Usually give out dog cookies. So now I have the two of them stare at me every evening and slowly start barking. Sometimes Scout starts with her high pitched, ear piercing bark. Other times Chandler will slowly begin with an almost silent, old dog-man, raspy bark. Yes, in his old age Chandler's bark has gone from a hearty, Earth shaking roar, to a barely audible rasp. Doesn't matter. I'll let it go on for a long time before I can't take it anymore, and both dogs get what they want.
And Chandler has taught Scout something. If you don't want to do what Daddy wants you to do, just lay down and go limp. Dead weight is the easiest way to say no. Chandler has been doing this lately in the back yard. I'll take him out, but when he's done doing his duty, he lays down and refuses to get up. I have a sling to help him with those nearly useless rear legs, but when I try to pick him up with the sling he just rolls over on his back. Doesn't matter if the grass is wet, or the weather is cold, he just lays there. Now Scout has begun using the dead weight refusal technique. Why do they only teach each other bad things?
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