I Went to a Concert and I Didn't Bring My Phone

 

I think they're called woohoo girls. The ones you see at a concert wearing tight clothes, a floppy hat or cowboy hat, who sometimes sit on their boyfriend's shoulders and if they can't do that, dance on the seat right in front of you. I don't like them. Sunday we had a version of that person. I was at the Diana Ross concert. We had pretty good seats with nobody in front of us for the first hour and a half while the opening acts were playing. Then Diana came out in all her splendor. Everybody jumped to their feet and sang and danced along to the music. About four songs in, when things calmed down, everybody sat back down. That's when the woohoo girl came bouncing into the row of seats right in front of us. She looked me right in the eyes as she wiggled and bounced, in a kind of screw you moment. She and her woohoo girlfriend didn't sit from there on. While everybody else sat, they stood and danced in front of us. When everybody stood to cheer and also dance, they stayed dancing in front of us. Yes, I danced. Which is very similar to the Trump dance. Feet planted firmly while kind of punching at the air right in front of me. Unless I had my hands in my pockets, then it was Trumpian without the air punching. Anyway jiggling and dancing isn't all the woohoo girls did. They and their pudgy man friend took video of the concert with their phones. In fact out of the three thousand, eight hundred people in that pavilion, Three thousand, seven hundred and eighty nine of them were taking video. Holding their phones up and staring intently at the little screens in front of them. The eleven who did not take video were all elderly, infirm people who couldn't stand up, and me. I don't like to bring my phone to concerts. I like to be there and actually see the act in person. You know it's true, none of those folks will ever look at those videos again past the next day. Just hundreds of terabytes of data wasting away in the cloud. Oh, and the dumb asses blocking our view of the stage? My friend Doug put down his smart phone just long enough to tap one of them on the shoulder and ask them to move over.