Merry Christmas IDiOT

I had an almost perfect Christmas day with my family on Sunday. Well, at least with half the family. With ten brothers and sisters, having just half of them around you is pretty good. Eleven of us together is overwhelming. Anyway, I left my sister's house around nine in the evening with another one of my sisters in my car. Her car had broken down and she needed a ride so of course I took her home. But not before I stopped for gasoline. It's really cheap out in my home town, around forty to fifty cents per gallon cheaper than in the city. 

This is not a story about cheap gas, my sisters, or Christmas. It's about the Illinois Department of Transportation. Also known as IDOT, which I believe has an 'I' missing from that acronym. Illinois highways have the worst street markings, terrible signage, and poor planning. After filling up with the cheap Will County gasoline, I got on the expressway that would get my sister home. It didn't take long before we were at the exit to take her home. At seventy miles per hour, I slowly moved over onto the exit ramp. First I heard this from my sister. "You're not on the pavement." She didn't scream it, just quietly informed me that I had missed the ramp. Then I heard the rumble of the 'rumble strip' put there for people like me, to let us know we're not on the pavement. Not my fault. There are no lines marking any pavement. Not on the interstate highway, not on the exit ramp. At least IDOT put that rumble strip at the edge of the highway. Anyway, I moved over onto the pavement and we successfully made our way off the interstate highway. I soon found myself on the two lane highway that goes to my sister's house.  It had no obvious centerline, a lot of black ice, and glaring headlights of oncoming cars. It was white knuckles all the way. After I dropped my sister off, I headed east on 147th Street, towards the interstate highway. Once again, no lines painted on the pavement, no lights for much of the route, and when I finally got to an area with lights, there was snow covering half the street. No problem. Stay in my lane, head east until I hit the expressway, and turn left. I haven't had to take this route but maybe three times in my life so I'm not all that familiar with it. But it's not all that complicated. As I neared Interstate 57, I could see the traffic whizzing by on the overpass. However, there are no brightly lit overhead signs telling you what side of the street the entrance is on. No signs a half mile before telling you a major interchange is coming up. Nothing until you're right on top of it. Because I was trying to figure out the side of the street I should be on, I missed the sign hidden off to the right. What I saw was a double left turn lane onto a ramp going in the direction of Chicago, so I whipped across two lanes of traffic and turned onto the ramp. No signs at all telling me what highway I had just turned onto, just a big overhead sign telling me 'I-Pass or Pay Online'. Sonofabitch. I was on the Illinois Tollway. I turned too soon, and there is no safe way to get off the Illinois Tollway once you get on it. I had to stay on the tollway. I had to pay to get home and travel an extra ten miles.