There is Always That One Guy

 

I sprayed my backyard fence with a tinted waterproofing yesterday. Not on my side of the fence, but on the neighbor's side. I tried to be very careful because I didn't want to get any overspray on her vinyl siding. However, I did get some on the air conditioner that sits just inches away from the fence. All day long I worried that she would notice that and complain. She didn't. That property used to be owned by a guy who never cut his grass, so I used to cut it for him. Not because I'm such a nice guy, but because his unruly lawn made my house look like crap. The new owner has a service that cuts the lawn, so that's not a problem anymore.

Every morning and evening, when I walk the dogs, I pass by another neighbor's house. One of those little Chicago bungalows that line so many of our streets. This place is owned by an older guy (My age) who appears to be in bad shape. I was talking to him the other day and noticed that one of his feet looked like a big wrapped ham. I figured that probably was why he never cut his grass. It was about two feet high at that point. So I told him that I was going to mow my lawn the next day and would he mind if I also ran my mower over his front yard. Once again, not because I'm such a nice guy, but because I was tired of my dogs wandering through that jungle and coming out covered in dandelion fuzz and other things. Yesterday I cut his lawn. Only the front yard, the part I can see. While I was chugging away, back and forth with my mower, his next door neighbor motioned to me. I figured he was going to ask how much I charge or something like that. I turned off the mower and he says to me in one of those crabby old fart voices, "Why are you doing that so early in the morning? You're waking everybody up." I smiled and started the mower back up. It was nine in the morning.