"Alan, Alan.... ALAN!"
Mark is at the bathroom door screaming my name.
"WHAT! What the hell is it now?" I yell back to him.
"Somebody is at the front door."
"And you want me to do what about that? Who is it?"
"I don't know."
I'm in the bathroom, in the shower. I am naked and wet.
"For crap's sake Mark... "
This is not the first time Mark has done this. In fact, it happens all the time. Sometimes I'm not in the bathroom, and sometimes I am and I am on the throne. For some reason Mark is incapable of answering the front door. Jehovah's Witlesses ring the doorbell, Mark comes and gets me. College kids with petitions and looking for money ring the doorbell, Mark comes and gets me. Seriously, I'm just going to walk out there buck naked one day and answer the door for him. It's the same with the telephone. The phone rings and Mark goes into a frenzy, running around the house looking for me to answer it. For krissakes, if you can't answer it, that's what voice mail is for. I'll eventually get the message. Anyway, in response to Mark's plea for help answering the door, I threw on a robe and walked up to the front window, leaving behind me a wet trail, much like a slug leaves behind.
"I don't see anybody. There's nobody at the door, Mark."
"Oh, they went up to Dennis' apartment."