CVS 500

It was a simple request, "Mark, can you drive through the CVS so I can drop off my prescription?". With a heavy sigh, and a stab at the accelerator, we were flying off towards the drug store. I should have known better. all through dinner Mark had been trading texts with a couple of friends who were apparently waiting for him at a bar, and I was obviously another impediment between him and that first vodka. Into the CVS parking lot we sped, and around the back to the drive through, where he slammed on the brakes, rolled down the window, and reached for the tube thingy. "Out of order", read the sign on the machine. Mark flew into a rage, "Damn it, damn it! I have people waiting for me.", he squeaked. "Just back up......", and before I could get the rest of the sentence out, we were racing forward and rounding the corner of the building. Honking and cursing at various folks who were attempting to park, Mark made a complete circle around the store and pulled up to the other drive through window. He leaned out of the car and started pushing on the call button, "Where the hell are these people?". It had only been a microsecond since Mark had pulled up to the window, yet he had already reached his limit. Finally, after what was an unacceptable wait of about thirty seconds, the pharmacist came to the window.

Mark, while waving the scrip out the window, yells "Just dropping this off. In a hurry."
"Put your phone number, and date of birth on the back of it please." 
For some reason Mark has an immense collection of pens, both in his kitchen and in the car that haven't worked since Clinton was president. After digging through the mess in the door pocket, Mark came up with a handful of pens, with which he started scribbling. One after another they failed to work, all were dry as the Sahara.
"Can you just give me your date of birth?" the lady asked. So from the passenger seat, I shouted out my date of birth to her, as Mark shoved the scrip towards her.
I don't know if my prescription will be ready today. As Mark was speeding away, all I could see was the blur of the pharmacist's face as she was shouting back, "Sir, is that December 27th.........."

We learned a valuable lesson today, don't get between Mark and his cocktails, and always make sure he has taken his XANAX®.