Nothing like a late night snack. It was around ten thirty, I had walked the dog, fed the cats, and I was scrounging around the refrigerator looking for some kind of goody that Mark may have squirreled away in there. After finding nothing in the fridge, I checked the freezer, and found a big bag of frozen pot stickers, or pork dumplings for those unfamiliar with that term. Perfect, a quick and easy snack before I go to bed. I fired up a frying pan with a little oil in it, and threw in eight of the little dumplings. While those were cooking up I mixed a brew of malt vinegar, and soy sauce to dip them in. A few minutes later I was sitting in front of the television, snacking on my pot stickers. Before I knew it, it was one in the morning. I didn't feel tired at all, but realized I needed to go to bed so off I went. After laying in bed sleepless for about an hour, Mark came home from his night out.
Cue the dog barking wildly at this intrusion.
"Why are you still up?" Mark asked.
"Don't know, just am. For some reason I can't sleep."
Two hours later, still laying awake in bed, grinding away, our house guest arrives home. It's four in the morning.
Cue the dog barking wildly again.
After a while the house settles down again, and everyone is sleeping soundly. Mark next to me, the dog draped over his legs, with the cat curled up by my head, deep in feline dreams. I however am still awake, my mind vibrating as if I had taken some kind of drug. It was now six in the morning, and I knew that in one hour there would be a dog standing next to the bed whining to go walkies. Why couldn't I sleep?
Mono Sodium Glutamate. The goddamned pot stickers had MSG in them. I grabbed the flashlight, went into the kitchen and checked the ingredients on the bag. Sure enough, MSG listed in small print on the back of the bag. Nothing gives me a buzz like mono sodium glutamate. It's what I should have been eating when we drove to Chicago because it keeps me awake better than coffee, or caffeine pills. In fact that gives me an idea. Chinese restaurants at all truck stops. It would make the streets safer, and keep truck drivers from abusing illegal drugs. Imagine, no more truckers barreling down the highway all hopped up on bennies. No, they'd all be buzzing along, high on Chinese take out.
well that's two reasons to get those out of the house, Mark's high blood pressure and your horrible reaction to MSG. You would have been better off with Chandler's treats!
ReplyDeleteMy doctor says that your last meal should be eight hours before bedtime so your body can digest the food and you can fall asleep without indigestion.
ReplyDeleteOMG Alan! You have inherited Dad's "midnight meals" syndrome! Do you remember when he would come home late at night and start frying up sausage and eggs? The smell of cooking food would wake me up and I thought it was morning but it would be 12 or 1am! It is amazing that he didn't have a heart attack or gastro issues.... never would have expected he'd succumb to a lung disease.
ReplyDeleteRemember, dad smoked into his forties, and who knows what he inhaled back in WWII. Lots of fumes from those old B29's. He seemed to have had an iron stomach though.
ReplyDeleteI have always thought it had most to do with the asbestos-lined truck terminals he worked at for so many years. Combine that with his smoking and the truck fumes... perfect storm.
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