Tyler and the Slug

Around the back of the house is Mark's death camp for plants, a.k.a. his garden that needs weeding and tilling. Out front, in plain sight of all my neighbors, is my tiny little lawn that has turned into a weed patch of epic proportions. Going around to the back of the house again is the swimming pool I've neglected to the point that it is about to bloom into a lovely algae farm. Finally, inside the house are some little chores that I've put off for the last three months, including patching up the inflatable mattress that my friend Dennis is scheduled to sleep on when he visits in two weeks.

I am a slug. With all the crap I have to do around here, all I've done for the last three days is lay around the house, drink some vodka, and finally on Sunday afternoon, sit back in my recliner and watch a crappy football game. If it weren't for the fact that I do get up to take care of the animals, they would have to take my pulse just make sure I'm still here. That is the one redeeming thing I did all weekend, I took one of the dogs from Abandoned Pet Rescue out to a flea market for a 'Meet and Greet'. The little guy I took out Sunday was named Tyler. He was quite the charmer, and drew a lot of attention. He and I spent a couple of hours at the flea market, enticing people to come around to the shelter and adopt him. Tyler did his part, wagging his tail, and looking cute, while I did my best extolling his virtues such as sitting on command, and the fact that he only humps other dogs occasionally. It was fun, but after a couple hours I cut the outing short, and took him back to the shelter. After all, I had to get home and watch that crappy football game. I'm such a slug.