Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Grouchy Old Fart

'Strings of streetlights, even stop lights,
blink a bright red and green,
as the shoppers rush home
with their treasures'

Yes, yes, I know. Cheery people, smiling as they wish one another a very happy holiday season. Out in the mall parking lot, folks are almost falling over one another to be nice.
"You go first."
"No, please you have the right of way."
In the stores themselves even more goodwill towards each other.
"Can I help you reach that, dear elderly lady?"
"Oh thank you young man, that's so nice of you."
Maybe somewhere it's like that.

Maybe this season really will be better than most. Maybe all the things I hate about December, and the Christmas season really have faded into the background. It is a fact that Mark didn't get up early on the Friday after Thanksgiving to go shopping. That shows that he might be evolving away from his compulsive shopping habits that I hate. And then there is the fact that I didn't encounter any hoggish drivers over the weekend, everyone seemed to be courteous. Yes, maybe it is getting better......

On Tuesday the packages started showing up. Mark is still a compulsive shopper, only he's been doing it on-line. And the drivers out there? They're still just as bad, it's just that I don't drive. I can't tell if someone is being rude if I'm reclining in the passenger seat. Finally, I read the paper this morning, and I saw this headline. 'Man and his 12 year old son beat 83 year old man in mall parking lot'.  December sucks.

My birthday is in December. I'll be turning sixty one. That means I'm only twenty two years away from being beat up by some dork and his punk son. What the hell is so merry about December? December means those years are flying by like fence posts on an interstate highway. December means I'll have to spend money I don't have. Of course it also means parties, and people baking cookies. That's not so bad. And thanks to the internet I don't have to even step out of the house to buy that sewing machine that Mark wants, and will use only once. It's not so bad. You'll have to excuse me now, I have to start shopping for Mark's Christmas presents. I think I can get a spool of thread and some sewing needles at Amazon dot com.

4 comments:

  1. The really horrible part of your story will be that the child will not be taken away from the miserable humans who spawned him. There is so much blah-blah about preventing gay marriage but no one seems to think that licensing people who want to reproduce is a good idea. Driving a car takes lessons and testing but directing a human life? Any a**hole who doesn't use protection can be called daddy or mommy...and those are the ones who need to be childless!

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  2. After reading the article, in the comments, some ASSHOLE said it was probably the old guy's fault! I watched the video and it's obvious who's fault it is! And to top it off, they let that ASSHOLE go on his own recognizance even after being charged with battery more than once before!

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  3. I'm all for enacting a license to reproduce. There are too many unwanted pregnancies these days. Anyone can have children without any notion on how to properly raise them. I think child rearing should be a mandatory subject in our high schools. I have seen one class where the students actually have to take home a robotic baby that has to be changed and fed. It will even cry if neglected. I think once teens realize how much effort and money it takes to raise a child they may think twice about having unprotected sex and having babies in their teens.

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  4. I'm carrying a tazor when I get old.

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