Stinky Feet

When I was a little kid my dad once brought home something very exotic, something very different than what we were used to. He brought home some Swiss Cheese. I was fascinated by the holes, but refused to eat any of it because, "It smells like feet." My entire experience with cheese at that age consisted of Velveeta. My mom always had a large brick of that shit in the house. She would cut off little squares of it with her 'cheese slicer', and put it on our sandwiches and burgers. I liked the Velveeta on the hamburgers but hated it on my sandwiches. The problem was that if it wasn't melted over something, Velveeta pretty much sucked. The worst was on Fridays, which for some reason back then the Catholic Church decided that nobody should eat meat. That meant that if I didn't get a brown sugar, banana and margarine sandwich, or a peanut butter and lettuce sandwich in my lunch, I would get a slab of dry Velveeta on white bread. No margarine, no Miracle Whip (another food I hated, and still do), just Velveeta. Dry, nasty tasting Velveeta. It's funny that as a kid I hated that Swiss Cheese so much, because now I like it a lot. In fact I have found that as an adult I love almost any cheese, even cheeses that smell like feet or worse. There are a couple that smell so bad that they bring up memories of the Chicago Stock Yards, and the disgusting odor of slaughtered cattle and hogs. Ooooh yummy.