All Apologies

The senior year girlfriend

I've been going through all my photo albums and scanning a lot of my old photos onto the computer. It became imperative when I opened one of them up and saw that many of the old pictures were so faded I couldn't even make them out. I guess this digital photography is a two edged sword. On one hand all my photos in the last six years are only on the computer. On the other hand, the computer has enabled me to save the precious hard copies I have of all my aging photos. One thing that this task has brought to my attention is that I have some apologizing to do. You see I keep running across photos of old girlfriends.

My high school years and the few years immediately after that were somewhat confusing for me. I was attempting for the most part, to live up to what was expected. In other words, I dated girls. First of all I need to apologize to my freshman year girlfriend. I hate to lose, and when a girl would break up with me I took that as a loss, and I lashed out. It wasn't pretty. Then there was the girl that my sister fixed me up with. We only went out a couple of times, and she seemed to think I was some kind of sex crazed rapist. The day we went to the beach she refused to take off her sweat shirt, and it was a hot day. I didn't break up with her, I just never called again. By the way, I was sex crazed, but it wasn't anything that she would have had to worry about. My senior year girl friend deserves the most apologies. I went out with her for a year. Every weekend it was pretty much the same. Go out to dinner, take her to a movie, and then park in the forest preserves and neck. Necking consisted of me kissing her for about a half an hour before starting the car, and calling it a night. The trouble is that my girlfriend wanted more, and was mighty frustrated that all I ever did was French kiss her. No attempts whatsoever to grab a breast, or move my hand within the confines of her clothing. Not even on the night that she actually took my hand and moved it around to her brassier clasp. That poor girl, I wasted a whole year of her dating life. She finally broke up with me, and of course I took that as losing. Once again, not pretty. So I apologize to all those poor girls who could have been going out with a straight boy if only I hadn't interfered. I have one more apology, and that is to the very good looking boy who I hung out with for a number of years right after high school. Although we 'experimented' a few times I never let our thing go any further than that. And when he came around at the end of our relationship, I rejected him. I was such a dork.