Crunchy

I don't know what woke me up, but when I opened my eyes I could see in the soft glow of the clock that read three a.m. Chandler standing next to the bed, his face inches from mine. As soon as he was aware that my eyes were open he started giving me his little tail wagging, whining routine. He wanted to go out. In the middle of the night he wanted to go outside. I've learned that he doesn't bluff about that, so I got up, opened the door, and let him out. After a few minutes I called him back in. It turns out that I should have left him out there for a little longer because he very quickly barfed on the kitchen floor. Chandler is a hunter. He loves to hunt lizards, squirrels, and just about anything that moves. Especially if it moves quickly. So there I was in the dark, in my underwear, with a puddle of dog puke at my feet. I flipped on the lights in the kitchen and it became immediately apparent what had made Chandler barf. There in the midst of his stomach juices, and bits of last nights dinner, was a barely living palmetto bug. For those of you unfamiliar with palmetto bugs, they are basically cockroaches. Giant cockroaches that can grow up to two inches long. Oh, and they can sometimes fly, like the one that flew onto Mark's back while he was sitting on the toilet the other day. Now that was entertaining.