The Week Before Christmas

It was a week before Christmas and all through the place
not a creature was stirring except for the one licking my face.
The dogs were all nestled all snug in my bed
with barely enough room for my feet and my head.

When suddenly outside there were such loud crashes
that I ran out there wearing my little white britches.
Next to the pool there were cats fighting coons.
making the dogs go crazy, and run around in the room.

The excitement caused Betté to go into a panic.
As she ran through the house, Betté was manic.
Her bladder not able to take all the pressure,
she squatted and peed right next to the dresser.

Unable to deal, Mark let out a scream
as Bette's hot urine came out in a stream.
She does this quite often, she has a weak bladder,
which makes this story come out a bit sadder.

She pees on the floor, and by the back door,
sometimes in the hall, while fetching a ball.
On tile, on carpet, on clothing and towels
Betté even will stop and empty her bowels.

So I chased off the coons, and cleaned up the mess.
I made it a point to not get depressed.
I got me some vodka, poured it over some ice.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, try to be nice.