"Fuck
you."
"Bette, let's move. It's going to rain any
minute."
"Fuck
you."
"Look at how nice Chandler walks. Come on now Bette
follow Chandler."
"Fuck you"
No, Bette can't really talk,
but if she could I am sure that would be her answer to going walkies. I don't
know what it is with schnauzers, but they are the most stubborn dogs that I
have ever walked, or tried to walk. Miss Sasha had the same trait. I had some
friends who had three schnauzers that I used to walk once in a while. They also
had the trait, just not as pronounced as Bette. Three times a day I put the
leash on Bette and show her the door. Sometimes she walks out, sometimes I have
to carry her out. Either way, the minute she hits the front porch the brakes
are applied. So I slide her down the slick terrazzo to the gate at which point
I have to pick her up and carry her out to the street. Once on the street I try
walking normally. It's a no go. Bette puts her legs at a forty five degree
angle and tries to keep me from pulling her along. The result is a hopping
motion. This won't do so I lift straight up on her leash and move her along
like a marionette. Her sling type harness makes this the most reasonable method
of getting her going. With her legs barely making contact with the ground we
move on. Luckily I know exactly where she likes to pee and poop, and that is as
close to the front door of my neighbors as possible. When we get near one
of her favorite peeing and pooping places I let her come in for a landing. Sure
enough, she can now walk on her own and drags me along as she boldly walks
right up to the front door of my neighbor and poops. From that point on she
is good to go, she is ready to walk on her own. Of course we're more than
halfway around the block now and Chandler is ready to poop. So he drags me over
to the fence that runs along the Church property, a place that Bette refuses to go. I now have to tie
Bette to the fence and walk back and forth until Chandler finds just the right
spot to deposit his pile of crap. Finally, finally we are done. Getting Bette
to walk now is easy, very easy.
"Bette, do you want a cookie? Let's go home now and get a cookie."
"Bette, do you want a cookie? Let's go home now and get a cookie."
"Yes I do, I
do want a cookie... Oh, and fuck
you."
Hahaha! So I've had a schnauzer and I take care of my step son's (husband's ex wife's) schnauzer every so often. My schnauzer Rocky, a male, loved walks. He would get so excited to go. Bark and pick up Stella's leash and pull her... tbough he did not like it when it was too hot. But Maggie? She's insane. I've never walked a dog like her. She rears up on her hind legs crying and grabbing the leash with her front paws. Then she flops onto her back like LeBron or a World Cup soccer player. It took me a while but she finally got it. Although she throws a tantrum in here and there for fun. So maybe it's the female schnauzers?
ReplyDeleteTrue Patti, all the offenders have been female.
ReplyDeleteYep. My mom's male schnauzer goes bonkers to walk. Alan is just rusty with the ladies...
ReplyDeleteThey need a little mix in them......had a schnoodle, now a schnug... they love walking! I'm the oe who gets dragged!
ReplyDeleteFunny you should write this. I just came across a little female schnauzer today.
ReplyDeleteNow -- you want to talk about a dog that's stubborn and difficult to walk? Let's talk about basset hounds. Oh my god.
I had some basset hounds thirty years ago. I don't remember them being difficult to walk. I do remember them being smelly.
ReplyDelete