Before I say anything let me
say that neither Mark nor I can sing. Mark sounds like a cat that's been caught
in a meat grinder, and I sound like a piece of heavy, steel machinery that's
being dragged across a concrete floor. So I have no room to talk about other people's
qualifications when it comes to singing. Unless I am forced to listen, that is.
Last evening Mark and I went
out to a bar for a couple of drinks. What I didn't know was that it was karaoke
night. So here are a few of my observations while I was being serenaded by
those that love to share their talents. First, and I didn't know they did this,
rapping is not singing. I don't even know how you would karaoke a rap song. It
seems that all you would really need is a drum machine and the ability to talk.
Which is exactly what was happening when we walked into that bar. There was a
guy bouncing around and doing those spastic rap guy moves with his hands, while
reciting something. I don't even know what language the guy was rapping in,
Mark tells me it was English. Secondly, I noticed that fat black girls can sing
pretty good. Unless they can't, which sometimes happens. Somebody just has to
tell them. Third, there was a drunken young white guy who sang an Eagles song
slightly better than I would have, while moving like Joe Cocker. It seemed like
he was really having fun, and didn't give a rat's ass that nobody liked it. Now
that's why you drink liquor, for the courage to stand in front of folks and
make an ass out of yourself. Finally, there was one young man in a 'wife
beater' shirt, or 'Dago Tee' as we used to call them, who sang some Bon Jovi
song. He was my favorite. He also couldn't sing, but still, he was my favorite.
Dago tee shirt, muscled arms, rough but attractive face. Yes, he was my
favorite.
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