I Call Bullshit

Yesterday morning, Mark comes into my office all out of breath.

"Alan, quick, Google V.I.Poo."

"What? I'm busy here."

"You can put that solitaire game on hold. Google V.I.Poo, hurry."

I'm not sure what the hurry was, but I obliged him.

"There, click on the Amazon link for V.I.Poo."

"What the hell is V.I.Poo?"

"It's a pre-pooping air freshener. It keeps your poop from smelling, and believe me, you need something like that."

"I need it? Really. Compared to you, my shit smells like roses. The damn paint is peeling off the walls after you use the bathroom."

"No, your shit stinks and I'm going to buy some of this V.I.Poo stuff for you. All you do is spray it in the water before you go, and no smell."

"That crap isn't going to prevent odors. The bad smell doesn't come from the turd in the toilet. Once it's under water it can't stink up the room. That's why there's water is in there, partially to prevent the smell."

"You're wrong. The smell comes from the toilet and this stuff stops that."

"Okay, one more time. The smell isn't in the water. The stink comes during the short trip from your ass to the water in the toilet. It is during that trip across that space that most of the odors are released. And then there is the problem of overage. When you poop so much that it mounds up and out of the water. That stuff isn't going to help you there."

"I don't care. I think you're full of shit and I'm going to order some."

So it doesn't matter what I say, Mark is going to order some of that V.I.Poo crap. I still think it's a waste of money. Judging by the reviews on Amazon, I think I will be proven right.

"This product stinks. Literally!!"

"the little donuts in the bowl would smell better than the spray."

"I sprayed as recommended did my business and walked out, the next person went in and loudly exclaimed 'who was in here? God! It smells like a skunk crawled up his ass and died ,boy he must have killed a fudge dragon in here!'"

"I purchased the lemon product, it did not live up to my expectations. It produced lemon scented poo."

And then there is this review.

"It is slightly nauseating and I would definitely prefer a more natural scent."