MRI

The bearded man seemed nice, even though he gave off the vibe of a serial killer.

"Hop up here on this slab and put your foot in that little saddle. Here's a pillow for your head."

I was getting a MRI on my sore ankle. I took the poor excuse for a pillow, doubled it over and shoved it under my head. At home pillows are big fluffy things, not all flat and hard like this one.

"You'll have to hold your foot completely still. You can move any other part of your body, but do not move your foot. Here, take these ear plugs. You'll need them."

I opened the cellophane packet containing the ear plugs and shoved them in my ears.

"Okay, here we go."

It sounded a bit like a jet liner getting ready to take off, then it started banging. 'Bang, bang, bang.... ' I looked up at the little control panel above my head and saw a clock counting down. It showed under two minutes. Hey, not bad. I can take two minutes of this. Sure enough, when the digital clock reached zero the banging stopped. Then a whirring sound, a very, very loud whirring sound started. The clock came back on, this time it showed four minutes. 'Bang, bang, bang, whirrrrr..... BANG!', then repeat as needed. When the countdown clock reached three minutes the ear plugs popped out of my ears. I shove them back in. They popped back out and onto the floor. Whatever, the clock was down to fifty seconds now and I knew I could take just a little more of this. Sure enough, it stopped again. Moments later the clock came back on. Five minutes and thirty seconds. As soon as the banging and whirring started, the clock started counting down again. By this time my back was killing me, my head felt like it was laying on a rock, and I had the irresistible urge to start moving my foot. Suddenly the machine stopped.

"Sir, you moved. I'm afraid we'll have to start that one over again."

Five minutes and thirty seconds showed back on the clock.

Aaaaarghhhh......Son of a bitch.