Easy Rider

Mark has not been feeling well. That, however, did not deter him from going shopping on Friday. First to Trader Joe's, and then over to the Jewel store in Evanston. After schlepping around Trader Joe's, Mark was not feeling up to walking all around the Jewel. It is the weirdest Jewel I have ever been in. They built it on a narrow lot between rail road tracks and Chicago Street. So the store is very long, nearly a block long, yet only about fifty feet wide. Mark took one look at the place and announced that he couldn't do it. He couldn't walk that far while he felt so ill.

"Why don't you use one of those electric handicap carts?" I asked.

"Oh no, that wouldn't be right. Those are for people who have trouble getting around."

 "What the hell did you just tell me? You said that you couldn't make it through this store feeling the way you do."

I went over to where the electric handicap carts were, picked one out, and delivered it to Mark.

"Here, now get on the goddamned cart."

So Mark got on the goddamned cart and after fiddling with the controls for a moment, shot off into the store ahead of me.

"Ahhh... How do you stop this thing." were the last words I heard as he disappeared down the cereal aisle. When I caught up with him, he was wedged into a corner next to the deli.

"Just take your hands off the controls when you want to stop."

It turns out that Mark is just as horrible at driving a shopping cart as he is driving the car. Once again Mark shot off down an aisle, knocking into a Jewel employee who was standing up on a step stool. Again he couldn't figure out how to turn around or how to stop. As other shoppers scattered and I aimed my camera towards Mark, I heard him threaten me with death if any photos of him riding the handicap cart were posted on Facebook. I thought about that for a moment as Mark again tore off down towards the meat department. And that is why the picture above is a photoshopped version of last Friday afternoon.