Yesterday morning, around ten
thirty, I leave the house to go buy some gloves to replace the ones I left in
the shopping cart at the grocery store on Sunday. In the rain I drive over to
Kohl's and find that everything is on sale. So I buy myself a pair of gloves, I buy
Mark a pair of gloves, and I buy myself some underpants with "barn doors".
I then stop by the Lebanese restaurant to pick up the gift card my sister
bought me. All the time it is pouring rain, but I don't care. It isn't snow. A
little rain isn't going to ruin what is supposed to be my day. When I got home,
I pulled into the garage, walked up the back stairs and opened the back door.
No dogs. Usually they are at the door ready to pounce on me. Instead Mark is
leaning over the kitchen counter wheezing and crying
"I can't breathe, I can't breathe... What did you
do with my scale? Waaaa..... "
Beyond the kitchen, in the
dining room, the dogs are hiding under the table. Obviously there had been some
kind of drama before I got home.
"I can't.... I just can't.... "
"Can't what?" I
asked... I shouldn't have.
"You hid my scale. I can't find my damn
scale!!" Mark screamed at me.
I looked around. All the
cabinet doors were wide open and on the floor, a raw egg was splattered across the
tile.
"What happened
there?" I asked... I shouldn't have.
"I hate you." Mark yelled as he stormed out of the kitchen.
So I went over to the cabinet
where Mark's scale was stored and pulled it out for him. Then I got on my hands
and knees and cleaned up the egg he had dropped on the floor. When I had
finished that, I went into the dining room and calmed the dogs who should be
used to skinny daddy going nuts by now. As I talked to the dogs I let Mark know
that the kitchen was now ready for him.
"I'm sorry." He said, "I
was trying to bake you a birthday cake and it all went to shit."
It wasn't even twelve noon
yet.
Happy Belated (B Rated) Birthday by the way!
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