No Pie For Alan

Mark used to accuse me of doing it on purpose. It used to piss him off quite a bit, telling me I did it just to make him pay. He was wrong.

Wednesday is my usual grocery shopping day. Yesterday I decided to go to a different store for a change. It was the store that had the apple slice pie my mom and I loved/love. So when I entered the store I scooted right on over to the bakery and asked the lady for the nice slice. The piece from the middle with the extra frosting on it. As I wandered through the store filling up my shopping cart, all I could think of was how good that piece of pie would be. Damn the diet, I needed some sugar! Through the store I went. Meat department, dairy, frozen foods, I even picked up two bottles of wine that was on sale. Cupcake chardonnay wine to go with my apple slice pie. God, I was drooling for that pie. I picked up some breath sticks for the dogs because their mouths smell like a sewer. More and more things I dropped into that basket. Finally I was ready to check out. I put it all on the counter with the piece of pie last so it wouldn't be crushed. I then reached for my wallet as the lady quickly passed each item over the scanner. And then I realized, I didn't have my wallet. I forgot my fucking wallet. Just an empty pocket with a bit of lint at the bottom. Son of a goddamned bitch, I did it again. I had even moved the wallet when I was picking my keys up off of the dining room table. I had it lined up next to my phone, on top of the keys so that I wouldn't forget. But I fucking forgot it! So no, I never did do that on purpose when I went shopping with Mark. It's just my nature that I always forget something when I walk out of the house. Sometimes it's my damn wallet.