The Real Reason For the Time Change

 

Day one of government enforced sleep deprivation. At 4:00am on that morning, ten pounds of Daisy dog walked across my mid-section and leaped to the floor of the bedroom landing next to the other dog, Scout, sleeping on the rug. Scout then took up the cause, letting out the soft whining that she uses to wake me up. Welcome to the world of the deep state, big brother, the conspiracy to ruin my life. Time to fuck with time again. I'm not sure if it's a Republican conspiracy or Democrat conspiracy to ruin an entire week for me. Probably just those embedded, secret government bureaucrats trying to keep Americans from thinking clearly. Yes, wake up sheeples. Haven't you noticed that it comes right before the November elections so you vote in a fog?

By 2:30pm on Sunday it was already getting dark and the dogs started to remind me that they will need to be fed at any minute now. Normal dinner time for the dogs is 4:30pm, with a nice walk afterwards. Now, six days later, nothing has changed. I am still awakened in the dark, early hours of the morning by a very insistent little fur ball. Around 2:30 in the afternoon they both stand in front of my recliner chair, staring at me, expecting to be fed and walked. Meanwhile, I am constantly looking at clocks all day because I have no idea what time it is either.

All this is because some evil beings, hidden deep within the halls of the government, want to screw with us and the elections. You think I'm kidding? Just watch. They'll do it again next year right before the Presidential elections. Then we'll all go to the polls and vote for the wrong candidates, while those really in charge sit back and giggle.