It is very hard to type this story. That's because I have scrapes and contusions on the fingertips of my left hand, and a sprained right hand. Yes, I have had another little spill while walking the dog. This time I was walking with the nice German lady from down the block, and her dog Dandy (only a German would name their dog Dandy). As both her dog and Chandler pulled off into someone's yard to poop, I stepped off of the pavement, twisting my ankle, and crashing head first into the lawn. This time I think I actually blacked out for a few seconds after my skull
struck the grass, because I opened my eyes and there was Chandler's big old nose in my face, and the nice lady was holding both leashes, screaming "OH- mein Gott!!".It's always funny when someone who doesn't know of my history of twisted ankles, and sprawling pratfalls, experiences it for the first time. They are always quick to run over and try to help, yet I know that there is only one thing to do, just lay there like a slug for about a minute and do a quick inventory of all my limbs. This time, in addition to the twisted ankle, I have skinned both knees, sprained the right hand, and of course skinned the aforementioned fingertips, never mind the bump on the head. I know it is just a matter of time before I break something, after all, I'm not getting any younger. Just older and more and more brittle. The sad thing was that I did this just a couple of hours before bowling, and almost nothing will get me to miss that. So, after pondering whether or not to take a couple of the Oxycodone left over from my foot surgery, I decided to just take three Excedrin, and three vodkas. That did the trick, and I actually bowled better than the week before. The problem is that when I woke up this morning, the pain was unbelievable. My right hand, the one I bowl with, felt like it had been hit with a mallet, and the scabs on my finger tips were only temporarily masking the raw wounds on my left hand. Thank goodness, I still have those Oxies in the drawer.
Oh Alan. This fall is not funny. Are you going to the doctor considering you hit your head and blacked out? I give you a lot of credit going to bowling with all your injuries. I would have stayed home! Take care.
ReplyDeleteTell me you didn't laugh at least once.
ReplyDeleteDude, it might be time for a walker.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I always have a little laugh once I know you're not dead. By the way, were you drinking a bottle of pop while you were walking?
ReplyDeleteOk Alan, it is a family tradition to take falls like that. You are really lucky you didn't break anything - July 4, 1976 walking to the fireworks show in Park Forest, stepped in to a hole in the grass along the curb and snap crackle pop!! 10 weeks in a cast and I took up smoking again ! Walking across my deck (after vacation in FLA), stepped on a walnut shell and snap crackle pop - broke it again. One other break, one really bad strain, all the same ankle. Broken nose from Dave, broken wrist from go carting, etc etc etc. Broken toes from furniture - so I totally get it!
ReplyDeleteLove ya!
Jeeees Alan, you are worse than my gran with these falls !
ReplyDeleteAnon is right you should go and get seen to :)
I already gave you my advice (which you ignore!) but I have to comment on the nauseating, stomach-turning artists rendition. Way too graphic, I could feel your pain. Please tell Mark that if you take off all your clothes and try to climb into the oven...it is time to go to the ER!!!
ReplyDeleteI did have to smile at the artist's drawing. But that's all. No laughing this time.
ReplyDeleteSue, Dave broke your nose? I remember the July fourth break, but tell me about Dave and your nose some time. I seem to always remember you in some kind of a cast for many years.
ReplyDeleteSyd & Chkn, I am holding out for one of those little electric carts. Mark refuses to push a white man around in a wheel chair.
Peggy, I don't get naked when I climb into the oven. Mark likes his turkey with 'dressing'.
Dennis, are you referring to the way Chicagoan's say pop instead of soda? My ankle did not make a sound like soda.
Now that I know you're (mostly) unhurt, I will admit that I giggled (a lot) when I read this.
ReplyDeleteDon't you remember the baseball game (backyard on 68th court) where Dave(I think he was visiting)hit a line drive with a rubber ball into my face? Broke my nose, two black eyes, not fun. But he felt really bad and got me a Barbie doll, I think - or was it a phone, no I think the phone was from the time I was hurt in the car accident! God - it's a wonder I am still around when I think about it!!
ReplyDeleteSounds like your brother was trying to pick off his siblings, one at a time, so he could be an only child!
ReplyDeleteAlan you will probably be more of a danger to your self in one of those carts, the dogs will go crazy at you scooting about the place too !!!!
ReplyDeleteHope things are healing up now :)