Thursday, February 7, 2013

Taking a Leak

I live in a house of cards. A fragile matrix of mechanical parts, electronics, and plumbing. Touch one part of this stew and another reacts.

I was sitting in my big fluffy chair last night watching American Idol, when one of their handy ten minute commercial breaks came along. I decided to take advantage of it and get a snack and a drink, but first I had to go take a leak. I stepped into the hall on the way to the bathroom, and I heard a squishing sound. I looked down, I was standing in a quarter inch of water. I opened the closet door, and sure enough more water. Water everywhere.

Here is the chain of events as best I can figure out. It all had started earlier in the day when I was assessing the damage under the kitchen sink. Some months ago the garbage disposal had sprung a leak. This in turn soaked the cabinet under the sink, which caused the shelf under there to expand and ultimately collapse. The collapsing shelf was to be repaired by me, so I went to the hall closet to get some tools. When I moved the tools, I noticed the condenser pump for the A/C was not positioned correctly, so I moved it back against the wall where I wanted it. Within a few minutes I noticed that the air-conditioning had stopped working so I went around and reset all the circuit breakers. Still no A/C. The only variable was the fact that I had touched the condenser pump. So I returned to the hall closet and gave the pump a tap. It took off working, the A/C kicked on, and all was good with my world. That is until I took that pee break and found that the goddamned condenser pump was leaking. If I had left that mother scratching pump alone earlier in the day, I'd have already taken that pee, got my snack and drink, and still had a few minutes to spare. As it is, I made it back just as Ryan Seacrest was introducing the next sob story. Those American Idol ad breaks are way too long.


  1. Wait. You've got the AC on? It's winter up here.
    p.s. Is it wrong that I wanted the stuttering guy and the young sick kid to go home because they couldn't sing? My girlfriend says yes.

  2. It was 80 degrees here yesterday.

    A.I. It's not a pity party, it's a singing competition. You are not wrong.

  3. It is a fragile balance, indeed. Try not to bump anything when you go to bed tonight.