Fast Money

Now that we have started on remodeling our bathroom, I have to find the cash to finish the job. My first thought was to sell Mark, but I have been told that was outlawed way back on December 18, 1865, something called the thirteenth amendment. Another route could be for me to not eat so much. I figure I eat about a hundred dollars per week of unnecessary food. That would actually be doubly beneficial, because it would cause me to lose a lot of weight, and then I would be skinny enough to rent myself out as a gigolo. I know, I would have to make love to rickety old women, and I am already a rickety old man, but isn't that what Viagra is made for?

Okay, gigolo is out, let's go back to Mark. I know I can't sell him, but how about renting him out. He is a really good cook, and I think I could get a fair chunk of money from that. I certainly couldn't rent him out as a housekeeper, so he would have to be kept in the kitchen. The only problem I see is who would clean up after him? When Mark cooks, the aftermath is incredible, the kitchen looks like a hurricane and flood hit it. Usually I just send the dog in there to lick the lower areas clean, while I clean the counter tops.

Okay, renting Mark out as a cook is actually a good idea but very hard to implement. So, I have decided to go with the old tried and true way of making extra money, a yard sale. I went out to the shed and took a look. It is incredible how much useless crap Mark has accumulated out there. I think if I drag all that stuff out to the front of the house and put some nice low prices on it, I can make enough to finish the bathroom, and if someone happens to want a skinny cook for a day, I think we can put a price on that too.