Kill a Lizard, Sniff an Ass, Poop at the Church

I walked Chandler yesterday like I always do. He managed to catch and flatten a lizard, he greeted and sniffed the ass of at least three other dogs, and finally he made his way to his favorite patch of grass down by the church where he took his customary dump. It is a routine that we go through three times a day, seven days a week. It is what my little pup lives for, so it was quite a shock when I read the Fort Lauderdale newspaper later in the day. It seems that Chandler's favorite pooping grounds are going to be bulldozed, and a gigantic gay resort hotel is to be built on the site. From a church to a gay resort, with a nightclub, movie theater, and restaurants. Just five houses down from me, a thumping, crowded, party place instead of a nice, sedate church.

So now I have to become 'Cranky Old Man'. When I was younger I always wondered who the hell these old farts were who had so much time on their hands that they could be out there bitching about every fun thing we had. Now I am that old fart. First I fired off an email to the mayor, and all the city council members, protesting the den of evil, drunken, youngsters that was being planned for my block. This was followed by another email to every member of the Eastside Neighbors Association. As an added element, I made sure I brought up the impending party palace construction to everyone I encountered on Chandler's walk this morning.

Sometimes being the cranky old man is lonely. You are mocked, and scorned. You are looked down upon by the folks whose fun you are trying to stifle. Not this time. Everyone agrees with me. In fact the wheels have already been put in motion to quash this abomination. I don't think a huge, noisy, gay resort has much of a chance of being built down our street. For that Chandler can thank me. His little spot where he has been pooping his entire life will be saved....   or maybe not.