Overheated, Overcharged

As our impending road trip to Chicago draws closer I am filled with foreboding. If the hour Mark and I spent together this morning is any indication, things are going to be rough. It started when I told Mark that we needed to go to the Home Depot and get keys made for the pet sitters. That little trip soon ballooned into a stop at the butcher, and a visit to a friend's house in Hollywood. One minute into the trip Mark points out that, "The brakes are making a squealing noise."
"Really? I thought that was you.", I wise cracked back.

I turned down the radio and listened.
'Squeeeeeeeeealllllllll', It was definitely making a noise, except it wasn't the brakes.
"That's a belt, probably the one that goes to the alternator."
"What's an alternator?"
"Doesn't matter, when did this start?"
"Two days ago."
As the odor of coolant filled the car, and steam billowed from under the hood, I instructed Mark to drive to the mechanic immediately.

After dropping the car off, we walked over to the supermarket to pick up some lunch. While Mark ordered a sandwich at the deli counter, I wandered over to a display of wine on sale for $4.49. Cheap chardonnay, my favorite (the cheap part, not the chardonnay part), so I grabbed one. The only problem was when I got to the checkout, the cashier rang it up at $5.99. Word for word, this is what happened.

Me, "No, that's the wrong price."
Cashier, "Gibberish, blah, blah, blah."
Me, "What?"
Cashier, "Gibberish, blah, blah, blah."
Me, "Are you speaking English?"
That last comment was followed by a very nasty stare from the cashier, so I told her to just take the wine off the order. Meanwhile, Mark had scampered off into the bowels of the store as I shouted across the checkout lines for him to come back.
"Mark, Mark, Mark,!"
But he just kept going. I paid for the sandwich minus the wine, and then went outside to wait for him. When he finally came out of the store, he drops a dollar fifty into my hand.
"What's this?"
"I got the manager to give you back the overcharge for the wine."
"But I didn't get the wine. I had her take it off the bill."

I probably should have returned the money, but no, Mark shoved it back in his pocket and we walked off across the parking lot. We'll just call it a translation surcharge.