Now you have to realize that this is my knee jerk opinion. This opinion is based solely on what I observed within eye-shot of the Interstate highway system that runs through the Confederate States of America. What I found is that southerners love Jesus in a very public, and scary sort of way, while at the same time they patronize titty bars, and love to blow up firecrackers. At least that’s the impression I got from the billboards along the highway. If I were to make an assumption about what they love the most based upon the number of billboards, I would say titties. Titties by a long shot, followed by a scary form of Christianity, with firecrackers running a distant third.
Oh, and there is one more thing I discovered about the south. They have very dirty bathrooms. Just ask Mark, he grabbed for a paper towel at a roadside gas station, and came up with a used baby diaper. We actually got into a fight about that one. He said it was my fault because I chose the gas station. Personally I don’t think we could have found one much cleaner than that. After all, if it’s clean enough to change the baby’s diaper it must be clean enough to take a leak.
r u in chicago yet?
ReplyDeleteAmen to a Jesus with titties. Chandler--keep those two queens in line!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the land of Southern Baptists. If you will notice, the parking lots are also located BEHIND the liquor stores.
ReplyDeleteHostess, Chandler is the only thing that makes me go home early. I haven't closed a bar in two years because he needs his walkies.
ReplyDeleteSyd, are you telling me that the entire weirdness of the south is caused by the Southern Baptists? Is there such a thing as Northern Baptists? Do they park in front of the liquor store?
anonymous, Yes, I am pretty sure we are in Chicago.
Who do you think all those billboards are meant for? Tourist just like you two yokels. It isn't their fault you are not interested in women or Jesus.
ReplyDeleteRight Dav..... I mean anonymous.
ReplyDeleteI only wonder why they need all those Jesus billboards. If it's such a wonderful religion they wouldn't need to advertise it. Titties sell themselves.
ReplyDeleteIf the billboard said,"Bring the family and join us Sunday for a pot luck dinner at the atheists commons", you'd have no problem. I suppose if the other billboard pictured two guys topless in tight pants, you'd have no issue with it.You need to be a little more tolerant.
ReplyDeleteActually atheists have never, ever, threatened me. Christians and other religions do all the time. As for the titty bar billboards, I have no problem at all with them. It's the hypocrisy of the religionists that I find a bit weird. How many of these evangelical pastors have to get caught in a gay scandal before their followers catch on. It's all a hoax.
ReplyDeletehilarious...hilarious...thanks for the laughs with my morning coffee.
ReplyDeletejackie
bliss farm antiques
Don't you just love the religious rants! Funny stuff.
ReplyDelete