I've
mentioned before that Mark is a hoarder. Not the narrow path through the living
room filled with junk, dog poop, and dead cats type of hoarder, but a more devious
type of hoarder. When you first walk into our house you would only think it is
a little bit cluttered. That is because Mark has found ways to squirrel away
all the shit he has acquired. It isn't immediately apparent that you've entered
a hoarders lair, but just try to open a drawer or cabinet. You had better step
back, because chances are something is going to come tumbling out. One of his
favorite things he clings to are his magazines. He simply cannot part with
them. "I paid for those, I need them." is the cry. Saturday evening
we went out to dinner. When we returned Mark headed straight for the bedroom. There
was an awful shriek. Bette had found a stash of Mark's magazines, dragged them
down from the top of the table (We think she might be part mountain goat.), and
shredded them. Little Bette came running out of the bedroom with Mark close
behind, almost in tears. "You crazy little bitch! My magazines, she
destroyed my magazines!" he screamed. I gave Bette a cookie as a reward.
Another thing
that Mark hoards that is quite different from most other hoarders, is
television shows. On our DVR he has nearly a hundred cooking shows. Many of
them nearly a year old. I'm not sure just why he is keeping them. The DVR is
rapidly approaching its capacity, and I've asked him to go through his shows
and delete those he has watched. Mark has assured me that he will do that soon.
Meanwhile I have adjusted some of the options on his scheduled recordings.
After all, I have to have room to record the next Mythbusters marathon.
I had to "adjust" the settings on my girlfriend's DVR shows also. Good job, Alan, here's a cookie treat!
ReplyDeleteI had to "adjust" the settings on my girlfriend's DVR shows also. Good job, Alan, here's a cookie treat!
ReplyDeleteI had to "adjust" the settings on my girlfriend's DVR shows also. Good job, Alan, here's a cookie treat!
ReplyDeleteI swear I just hit the button once to send...
ReplyDeleteI swear I just hit the button once to send...
ReplyDelete...and again for that one.
ReplyDeleteOkay, back away from the coffee...
ReplyDeleteToo funny, hostess! And Alan, remind Mark that he is the one who insisted on adopting Bette. She apparently understands how to help a hoarder start clearing out!
ReplyDeleteMass consumerism is the curse of modern society. Remember the saying, "less is more"? Apparently Mark's thinking is "if less is more then that means time to shop cause he has less so he needs more.."
ReplyDelete