Monday, March 31, 2014

Happy Birthday Dave



Sunday evening one of Mark's New York friends came to visit. Bette the schnauzer gets super excited when visitors come to see us. It's like somebody gave her a Pixy Stix filled with crack. She runs around with her squeaky toys, jumping up on the visitors laps, nipping at them, and doing her best to get them to play/fight. Sunday evening she went one step further. Bette couldn't contain herself. Literally, she couldn't contain herself and squatted right in front of me and peed on the floor while I was cleaning the kitchen. She shot me a quick look of defiance and ran back out to the living room for more fun with her new human visitor.

            Miss Bette isn't a stupid dog. Cunning, conniving, and clever yes, but not stupid. She knows how to make the skinny man give her treats all day long, and she knows how to make the fat man crazy. I swear she plans her misdeeds to get back at us. It happens every time we leave the house without her. Despite intense pre-planning before we walk out of the house, Miss Bette finds a way to shred something. Last Thursday, when we went to the theater, she managed to find the magazine that Mark sincerely wanted me to read. "It has some good information about real estate in Chicago." he told me. So I took the magazine and laid it next to my big fluffy chair so that I wouldn't forget to read it. The magazine was the first thing we noticed torn apart when we returned home. That was the easy shred. Miss Bette also managed to climb across a chair, hover in midair, and snatch a dollar bill from the stack on a table that I had put aside for my next trip to Johnny's. She never does the shredding thing when we're home, only when we're out. It's sort of a revenge thing I think. Anyway, the article Mark wanted me to read in the magazine is still readable, and the dollar bill is still spendable. With a little Scotch Tape, it will all be fine. So whoever has the next birthday coming up, look for that dollar in your birthday card.

9 comments:

  1. Sounds like Bette needs to be in a crate while you guys are out. Never thought I would be a fan of crating a dog but used it with our last dog and it worked great. Just a thought . . . .

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  2. I did the crate with Molly and Chandler, but Mark made me put the crate out in the shed. He needed more room for his shopping/hoarding.

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  3. Better leave something of Marks out to be shredded.....then he'll insist on bringing back the crate! ZOE can be out all the time but the doxie, Gobo HAS to be crated. I learned my lesson the hard way.

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  4. Yeah,even my mom crates her schnauzer after he ate a bible.

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  5. Mmmmm. I'm so happy with my cavalier...the most docile, calm, sweet little dog. She also has had most of her teeth removed due to very bad genetics.

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  6. Add crafty to your list of adjectives. Belle is very crafty. Rocky was a "shithead". He would squat and look at you while he peed/pooped right in front of you. He wouldn't run off. He would saunter as if there, that's what I think of our company.
    Bette sounds like a combination of Rocky and Belle. If she hates the crate (like Belle) buy a couple of kiddie gates and trap her in a hallway with a bed and toys while you're gone.

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  7. Hire Bette out as a business document shredder.

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  8. So did you send that torn up, taped back together dollar bill to Dave for his birthday today?

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  9. He should have got it today.

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