We watch a lot of HGTV around
here. I like Love it or List it, The Property Brothers, and Income Property.
One thing I always find amusing is that on these shows, when they are remodeling
the homes of the people, they always find a problem that screws things up. "I
am so sorry to tell you this but we've found a body stuffed inside the walls of
your house. This will probably set our schedule back a bit." Of course in
the next scene you see the distraught home owners standing amid the demolition of
their home while the show's host tells them, "Not to worry though, it'll
be done on time. Now go off somewhere and don't come back until the unveiling
of our handiwork." By the next segment in the show the totally screwed up
house has been slapped back together in less than half a day, and it looks
beautiful. I have never believed that they actually do the remodels in the time
they say they do. It's called editing.
On Tuesday, April 1st, I was standing in our rental
apartment with discarded track lighting strewn about the living room floor,
paint cans everywhere, the kitchen in a disheveled mess, and the place a
general trash dump. The phone rang, it was my new tenant. The new tenant
who said she planned on moving in on April 6th. "Hi Alan. I'd like to come
by this evening to pick up my keys. The movers will be here early tomorrow, and
I'll have to be able to let them into the apartment over there by eleven in the
morning." I looked around the place
and my heart sank. I swallowed hard, "Sure, come on by and get the keys. The
place will be ready for you first thing tomorrow."
In the span of one hour I managed to paint the ceiling where the ripped out track lighting had been, haul all of the garbage out of the house, put my tools away, and push all the appliances back to where they belonged. Luckily she came after sunset. With the proper lighting I was able to make it look like I was almost done with getting the apartment ready for human habitation. By eleven the next morning I had washed the windows, scrubbed the bathroom, cleaned the oven, scrubbed the kitchen, removed all the rat shit and dead palmetto bug carcasses, and mopped the floors from front to back. I know it doesn't sound like a lot of work, unless you know me. I'm sitting here now with a sharp pain in my back from swinging that mop back and forth, but I'm happy. I have a high quality tenant. She drives a nice new car, has a good job, and best of all she hired professional movers to move her nice furniture into my building. For the first time in many years I have a tenant who didn't move in the middle of the night with the help of a bunch of drunken friends.
Nothing like a hard and fast deadline to get us Procrastiputz's moving! ;)
ReplyDeleteAMEN!!
DeleteExcellent work, Alan.
ReplyDeleteI'm sitting here trying to think of the title to your HGTV series. I'm thinking "The House That Alicia Built" or something along those lines. I would watch that...
Hostess, I think Alicia and Alexis' show would be called "Love it or Bitch it."
ReplyDeleteThere's your Friday video Alan!!!
ReplyDeleteThe show should be "Bitch It or Pitch It" and have Alexis and Alicia bedazzling something or throwing it out!!
ReplyDeletehow about "Alexis and Alicia meet the new tenant" show...
ReplyDeleteBrilliant, Garrett.
ReplyDeleteGarrett and Hostess, let's let her get settled in before she comes face to face with Alicia.
ReplyDeleteLove the titles The House that Alicia Built and Love it or Bitch it and Alexis and Alicia Meet the New Tenant!! Looking forward to watching it!!
ReplyDelete