Greek Lightning

Last night I made delicious country ribs.

I like pork. I am very conflicted about that fact because for a year I lived on a farm in Iowa, and out behind the house was a large barn full of pigs. They stunk, they drew flies by the millions, and they were smart, very smart. It's hard to eat something that is at least as smart as a dog, so I never eat pig's feet or anything that has the name pig in it. I can eat pork chops, pork roast, and pork ribs because I've never seen a pork, just pigs. Anyway, Mark has been feeling poorly the last week or so and has not been up to his usual culinary antics. In the last ten days Mark has cooked dinner for me but two times. We've been eating a lot of pizza, Chinese food, and Mexican food, but not Mark's food. So last night Mark sat me down in front of the television and made me watch an episode of America's Test Kitchen, Country Kitchen. I was going to be responsible for dinner and all I had to do was watch this TV show to become a cook. Country pork ribs were on the menu. They looked pretty simple to make. First you beat some inexpensive pork meat with a hammer until it's flat and tender. Then you mix up a special rub made up of a bunch of spices. Not too difficult so far. You then take half the rub you just made and put it in another bowl, where you mix it with ketchup. That's the barbeque sauce. About the most intricate part of this dish was making that rub. The next step was to build the fire out back. That I am an expert at. Ever since I was a child I have been very good at starting fires. I kind of missed my calling, I could have made a fortune off of Greek restaurant owners. Anyway, from then on it was pretty easy. Place the meaty bits on the smoky barbeque grill, slather them with sauce, and turn them over every three minutes. The country ribs turned out great. Of course I did need a bit of help from Mark, actually quite a bit, but I did start the fire, and I did turn the meat over once.