When I was a teenager my dad
and I couldn't have been further apart, or at least I thought so. He was a
straight arrow, no nonsense guy who worked at least two jobs at all times. I
was a confused homosexual boy, who wanted to rebel at every turn. He did let me
get my learners permit when I was fifteen years old, and let me buy a car when
I was sixteen, so he probably wasn't as bad as I thought. Then again, he called
my friends names when they'd come over to the house when I was eighteen. No,
not to their faces, but when he'd come in from the garage he'd bellow "Who
are those animals sitting out in the driveway?" Those long haired, pot
smoking, hippie 'animals' were my friends. The older dad and I got, the more I
understood him. By the time I was in my late twenties we were close enough
for him to take me to a Chicago Bears football game with him and his buddies.
Not a regular season game, but preseason. Little steps, little steps. I knew we
were right with each other in the summer of 1997, at my sister's Fourth of July
cookout. There was my dad, a bit shorter than I remembered and not at the peak
of his health, talking to some friends of his. I walked into the back yard,
said hello to dad, introduced him to my new boyfriend Mark, and then left the
two of them while I went into the house. As I walked away I could hear him
introducing Mark to his friends, "This is Alan's new 'special friend',
Mark." He had never acknowledged any of my boyfriends before, and to hear
that really made me happy. As for Mark, standing in a yard full of white people
he didn't know and trying to make small talk with my dad, he was scared
shitless. Miss you Big Al.
That was a very nice story Alan. and reminded me of the movie, On Golden Pond.
ReplyDeleteDad scared a lot of his kids' friends shitless. I don't think he meant to but between his size and his mouth, he even scared me sometimes!! Nice story Alan and I think a lot of people miss Big Al.
ReplyDeleteVery lovely story. It's so nice that you two were able to be friends after all the difficult adolescent years. And I'm glad that Mark was able to meet him as your partner -- even though he was a tiny bit afraid.
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