Ms. Creosote

I've been a bit worried about my dogs lately. Chandler has had diarrhea ever since Christmas. I know what caused it, smoked prime rib, so he has been on a chicken and rice diet for the last two days. Bette however, has not had diarrhea. In fact she dropped the largest turd I have ever seen her drop the other day. It was huge. Which makes what Bette has been doing so strange. What she has been doing for the last few days, is not eating. I have tried everything. Gourmet dog food, home cooked meat, fried eggs, bacon, all kinds of food has been put in front of that little bitch to no avail. At dinner time she does sit over in her corner by her dish, but when I fill it with dog food she walks away, as if I had put actual crap in the bowl. Yesterday she did not eat any food in the morning, she did not eat any food in the evening. Which makes Chandler very happy, because he gets to gobble up what she leaves behind. So there I am, all worried that my little baby has no food in her stomach and that she is starving to death. Then, while Mark and I are watching Jeopardy on the television, Bette stands in the middle of the living room and spews a huge pile of vomit onto the rug. Honestly, it was enough to feed a small village in Africa. So Bette has been getting food from someplace, from somebody. Thinking back, I realize that she sits loyally by Marks chair during dinner. Also, I give her a doggy treat every time she pees outside instead of inside on her pee pads.  One more possible food source for Bette could be my tenant. I have noticed that Bette runs right over to my tenant's back door when I let her out. She then sits there patiently... like maybe she is waiting for a treat. So I have instructed Mark to no longer toss Bette treats from the dinner table, and I will have a talk with the tenant about no treats for Bette. And then there is that reward for peeing outside. Screw it, from now on if she hits the pee pads in the sun room, I am fine with it.