Weather Report

Okay, yes. To my friends and family in Florida I say yes, six degrees was very cold Sunday morning. Yes, I had to bundle up in a heavy coat, muffler, hat, and gloves to take the dogs out at six in the morning. And though not probable, I did worry for a moment that poor Scout with her stubby little legs might actually freeze to the ground when she squatted to pee. Meanwhile, Chandler was dancing on the ice/snow trying to find a place to poop. Chandler is a Florida dog and to this day still looks for lizards when we go for walks. He also hates the cold weather and his feet do not like walking on frozen tundra. I can handle the cold weather now that I am retired. Too cold outside? Stay inside, no problem. The only reason I go out there is because my dogs know peeing inside the house is the original sin. None of this matters because within a few days the temperatures will rise again and all the misery of single digit temperatures will be forgotten. What I don't understand is why Chicagoans obsess over the weather. Get the hell over it. On channel nine, WGN, they devote over fifteen minutes to the weather in a thirty minute newscast. Just tell me what the hell is going to happen over the next twenty four hours and then shut the hell up. Even worse are the evening news broadcasts on the major networks. They now do this thing where they tell you how many people will be affected by a snow storm. "More than seventy million will be impacted." I'm told. I seriously do not care about sixty nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine of those folks. I only care about what will happen to me and whether I will be stuck in the house with Mark. That is what is important to me.