Erin Go Bar, But the Bar Was Closed

I've never been a big fan of Saint Patrick's Day. The green beer, the crowds in the bars, I just don't get it. Okay, snakes. Saint Patrick got the snakes out of Ireland. Apparently he sent them to the New World in the form of politicians. Anyway, I'd like to know how did it go from snakes to blind drunkenness? And then there is my favorite movie channel, Turner Classic Movies. All day long they play corny Irish themed movies on March 17th. It's almost as bad as when they play all those horrible Elvis Presley movies on Elvis' birthday. To top that all off, every year Mark insists that we have corned beef, with stewed cabbage, potatoes, and carrots on this day. I do like the corned beef, but that cabbage. Pee Yew. I hate the cabbage and the cooked carrots, and those potatoes have no flavor at all. Simply boiled potatoes. What a waste of a meal. No, Saint Patrick's Day means nothing to me. I will still have my one vodka cocktail in the evening, but I won't be going out to some bar to drink some green beer. Besides, all the bars have been shut down by the mayor. Cheers!