These are a few of my favorite things.

I brought Mark home from the nursing home one week ago, on Monday. I am now his round the vclock nurse and it is getting to me.

I was having pains in my belly for the last couple of months and on Friday the shit hit the fan. I awoke at three in the morning with a terrible urge, so I scuffled off to the bathroom, stepping over sleeping dogs while trying not to wake Mark. Let me just say without graphic detail, there was a lot of blood. Something horrible was wrong with me. This episode was followed every hour or so by others. I didn't know if I should go to the emergency room or wait to call the doctor. In the interim, I swallowed a Prilosec, four Tums, and a quarter bottle of Pepto Bismal. Feeling queasy and light headed, I called the doctor's office as soon as it opened. After I explained my problem, I was given a three thirty appointment. I assumed that this meant it wasn't an emergency and I calmed down a bit. Later at the doctor's and after a quick exam and query of my drinking and eating habits, the doctor told me,  "You definitely are bleeding in your stomach, possibly a bleeding ulcer. I want you to take Prilosec and Tums twice a day. No more vodka, no more Excedrin, and no more citrus based drinks. Call me after a few days and let me know how you're doing."

Well sonofabitch. After weeks of searching for Fresca to mix with my evening vodka, I can't drink my vodka... or my Fresca. It gives me a headache just thinking about it. Oh what I wouldn't give for an Excedrin. Tylenol just isn't doing the job.