The Shape of Things to Come

 

Back a few weeks ago I finished physical therapy for my legs. I noticed back in September that my legs had become sore and weak, and it was a chore for me to pull my ass out of the recliner chair. That probably is my problem right there, the recliner chair. I spend too much time in it. Unfortunately, that's the best place to watch television. Anyway, back to the physical therapy. My doctor prescribed it instead of pills. So for four weeks, twice a week, at forty dollars a session, I went and had a young lady hurt me. That's what it is, torture that is supposed to help. Since the physical therapy place was really nothing more than a poorly equipped gym, when it was over I decided I would join a real gym. So I waited until the place near me had a sale, and on Christmas day they did. It's a good deal, ten dollars a month with no commitment. I've been to those places that make you commit, and getting out of a contract with them is like escaping Stateville Prison. The best way to cancel a gym membership is to make sure you put the monthly fee on your credit card, and then when you feel you're buff enough to quit call the credit card company and tell them you lost the card. A new number is issued to you and the gym can't charge you anymore. Brilliant, right? So I signed up with the purple place, that gym where they keep telling you it is "The no judgment zone." Ha, liars. First thing they did was judge me. They looked me over and figured I would pull the lost credit card scam on them. So they asked for not just the credit card, but my bank account number and routing number.