80 Pounds of Limp Dog

 

My dog Chandler, will be fourteen years old in April. He's now a very senior dog and smells the part. Very stinky. He is also very smart and very handicapped. His hind quarters are wasting and he has a hard time standing up for very long. To get him to go outside I have to carry his ass end in a sling up and down the stairs. Chandler does not like that. He hates the stairs. So you can understand why sometimes when I tell him it's time to go out he just lies on the floor and gives me that 'fuck you' look. I then have to try and lift eighty pounds of limp dog into his sling and maneuver him out the door. When I do get him outside it's a challenge to keep him upright long enough to do his business, and he often will just lay down. It doesn't matter if there is snow on the ground or ice, Chandler will lay down in it.

Like I said, Chandler is very smart. It seems that he has figured out that Daddy poops in that little room next to the bedroom. And if it's good enough for Daddy, it's good enough for him. It has happened more than once that Chandler has left a gift for me right in front of the bathroom doorway. Like last night at two thirty in the morning. I got up out of bed to go pee, a little blurry and not really fully awake. Usually I take the flashlight so I don't step in anything. This time I didn't take the flashlight. Good news, I didn't step in poop in the hallway. Instead, in my sleep walking shuffle to the bathroom, I kicked a giant turd through the door and into the bathroom. That's where I stepped in it.